Long Absence

To those who used to read my blog, I send my regrets that I have been silent for so long. I took on two jobs in October last year. I was opening at a coffee shop and then clean up and went to a second job at a UPS Store. A month ago I suspended my coffee job for the summer to get back into my other projects. I did find that I am too old for 11 hour days on my feet. I feel like I spent most of the winter exhausted.

I changed out the products my wood crafting makes to kitchen items and wooden combs. I still have some of the other products, but I haven’t been focusing on them. I have to say I was discouraged last year to load up the van with cases of product, spend 3-4 hours at a craft event and then reload almost the same amount of product back into the van.

I sometimes feel like I have a heart that is a quiver. There are two kinds of arrows that fill it. One kind is white that represents hope, the other is black and represents depression. It has seemed like the Quiver was filled mostly with dark arrows. Anyone who has fought depression can understand. One arrow was “full totes of products” after an event. Another was health issues, with another being financial. There are arrows representing relationships that aren’t going well. The biggest arrow is one I call hopelessness of change. It is the one that makes life feel like a dead end. I came from a background where acceptance was the proverbial carrot on the string in front of the donkey. The desire was there, but always out of reach. When one grows up like that even when acceptance comes it isn’t believed or understood.

That explains why I haven’t written much in the last few months. A wise man once said that if you want something different tomorrow than what you have today, then you have to do something different today than you did yesterday. The thing is I am finding it hard to figure out what to do different today.

That is my goal this summer: to find the “different thing to do”. In the meantime, I will keep writing and keep working on the current wood products. That being said, I am trying to get the fourth book of The Time Twins Series out in the next month. I will continue to do the Farmers Market in Mabel and continue working the UPS Store job. I will also try and get more blogs put up, hopefully not in the same mode this one developed.

Thank you to those who read this and respond.

DB Macks

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